I really hate those two words. Perseverance and patience. Standing here looking in the mirror, seeing the emptiness, the soullessness that looks back at me, from where so many pieces of me are gone.
“Play the long game, right Doc?” That’s what my doctor taught me. Take a walk, put on my music, mow the lawn, weed the garden beds. Keep moving. Get a shower, have a glass of water, or tea. Eat three meals a day. Keep a schedule. Go down the list, and check things off as you do them.
One step at a time.
One day at a time.
“Play the long game.”
Staring at my eyes in the mirror, I wonder if what’s gone ever comes back. Maybe it stays a barren landscape, nothing but bare dirt, and cold, hard rock, with no life at all. Maybe it sits between me, and whatever hides on the other side of that desolation I can see in the mirror.
I don’t know.
I put my earphones in my ears, set my music player to play randomly. One song after another. Endlessly. I look at those empty eyes again. Straight into the barren, desolate landscape I know is there.
While the music plays, I see wildflowers growing there. A clear blue sky, with no dust storms in it. Wispy white clouds floating in that sky.
“Maybe…” I stare into those lifeless eyes again, “Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to do. Fill that emptiness myself.”
245 Words
@mysoulstears
It’s Week 520 of #ThursThreads, hosted by Siobhan Muir. Please go read all the stories in this week’s #ThursThreads. They are always fun to read. And there are some great writers who show up every week.
My Soul's Tears 