Miranda Kate’s Mid-Week Challenge : 2018/10/03

Julia carefully straightened one last misplaced curl of my wig, “There. That’s better.” She examined me from head to foot, a thorough once over. “I know why you’re doing this, you know. But you could just dress as yourself. No one would really mind.”

I stared into the mirror for a moment. “Mom always said she wanted me to have a proper wedding. One with a bride, and a groom, and a grand wedding dress, in a grand old church.”

“I know.” She adjusted the white fabric flower on my left sleeve again. “There. That’s better.”

“You’re certain you have everything right? Nothing missing?”

She nodded. “You couldn’t look any more like a bride if you were a girl, dude.”

I looked at myself in that mirror again. “You know. I’ve never had on a wig, or makeup before.”

“I know.” Julia grinned.

“I honestly don’t know how you guys deal with all this stuff. Every single day. It would drive me crazy.”

She had a fun laugh, I’d always thought that. Almost a cross between a giggle, and a guffaw. It was what I needed right then, it made me feel better. “See, Bobby? See? That’s the smile you need today. That smile.”

I keep smiling into the mirror. “Bobby, you make a gorgeous looking bride.”

It was my time to laugh, “No. You made me a gorgeous looking bride. On my own, I’d look like some bearded woman in a pile of wrinkled fabric.”

She gave me a hug, like any big sister would. “You ready? It’s almost time.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

James was resplendent in his tuxedo, standing at the front of the church, next to the pastor, with Alexander standing next to him. Mary and Danielle stood on the bride’s side of the pastor, and watched as my boss from work, Stephen, escorted me down the aisle.

I was terrified. Walking in those damn high heels, with those straps cutting into my ankles, to keep the shoes from coming off. And my legs felt all wrong, having been shaved, and having none of the hair they’d always had.

But, if I was getting married, I wanted it to be a wedding Mom would approve of. And she’d wanted me to find someone to love. My other half, she called them. And have a big celebration, with a church wedding, and a beautiful, classic brides gown.

I’d always loved my Mom. Always. And I wished, as I walked down the aisle, she could be there, on that front row, next to Julia, and her family, to see the wedding I’d arranged.

It was beautiful. I know Mom would have loved it. And I hoped she would approve of me having found my other half in James. As I walked that aisle that day, it was like I could see her looking down from heaven, watching.

It had been Mom’s wish. And I’d found a way to make it come true.

496 words

Saw the picture for week 75 of Miranda Kate‘s Mid-Week Challenge, and this little bit of fiction popped into my head. As a friend said, “Your blog. Post whatever you want.” So, here it is. You can read about Miranda’s small fiction challenge here. Please, go read Miranda’s short tale this week, and any others that showed up. The tales are always little works of art, crafted with words, meant to be shared, and enjoyed. And many of them are amazing.

#DFQWBS : I Think That Went Well, Don’t You?

I stood on my hind feet, balanced on my tail so I could stay upright. “Well, dear,” I said to my wife, “The Dark Fairy Queen and the Wizard of Moog are now married. We pulled it off.” Of course, it came out more a string of squeaks, chirps, and clicking sounds.

“Indeed, we did,” she replied. “But it wasn’t pretty.” I had to admit her voice was very pretty to listen to. Of course she wouldn’t think it was pretty. I was temporarily a four-foot long, albino chipmunk and she was a bird of paradise. “How long do you think it’ll be before…” She let her question trail off.

“Oh, I’m certain it’ll only be a few days. A week at most.”

It had been quite a wedding. All the friends of the Dark Fairy Queen sat on the left side of the clearing. All the friends of the Wizard on the right. The groom wore his best wizard hat, a full three feet tall, in royal purple, with pure gold stars, crescent moons, and comets artfully displayed on it. He wore a royal purple robe, trimmed in solid gold with a six-inch diameter gold clasp holding it around his neck. He word white bamboo sandals, purple and gold Bermuda shorts and a tie dyed purple and gold t-shirt with a picture of the Dark Fairy Queen herself painted on the front. He looked absolutely regal.

When they saw him, everyone on the queen’s side of the clearing broke up laughing.

The queen wore black from head to toe. Skin-tight black leather jeans, a black corset that made her bosom virtually impossible to avoid staring at, black leather stilettos, a black lace veil, and black lace gloves that ran up her arms, past her elbows. She had on black lipstick and black eyeshadow.

Everyone male on the wizard’s side of the clearing drooled.

Everything went well until the Wizard turned to me and said, “The ring.” I opened the box, and the ring wasn’t there. I’d looked at my fingers. I started going through my pockets. “The ring, if you please!” the Wizard asked me a second time. I took off my tuxedo jacket, and started turning its pockets inside out. The two groomsmen race from the clearing, retracing our steps, looking for the ring.

The Queen echoed through the clearing, “You lost my ring!” Everyone in the clearing scattered, fleeing into the forest, seeking safety.

“I haven’t lost it. I’ve just temporarily misplaced it,” I tried to explain. The Wizard stepped to the side, leaving me to face the Queen. She waved her hands in the air above her head, glitter floated everywhere, and she screamed, “#MOOGHOOHAH!”

Presto! I was a giant, four-foot long, albino chipmunk. It was actually a good thing, because as my tuxedo fell away, the ring fell out where it had gotten stuck between my belt and my tummy. “The ring! I found it!” I squealed.

“What have you done to my hubby?” My wife, bless her, should have known to not say anything.

The queen faced her, laughed, looked at me and asked, “You married her?”

All I could do was nod. One simply does not lie to the Dark Fairy Queen.

The Queen shook her head as she turned back to my wife, waved her hands in the air again, causing more glitter to float around, and once more screamed, “#MOOGHOOHA!” And I was married to a beautiful bird of paradise.

I handed the Wizard the ring. He put it on the Queen’s ring finger, “With this ring, I thee wed,” he boldly proclaimed. I squeaked, my wife sang, and the Queen and the Wizard kissed. The Wizard waved his arms, and in a puff of black and white smoke, he and his bride were off on their honeymoon.

I laughed, which sounded like a string of chirps, and then chirped and squeaked out, “I think, all things considered, that went well, don’t you?” And I really hoped we both would return to normal in a few days.

A toast to the couple.

When you wake, 30 years from now, may you both realize you love each other more than you ever have before.


Now, go read the rest of the stories in the Dark Fairy Queen Writerly Bridal Shower. And don’t forget to make a toast to the happy couple.

#FlashFriday #19 : Good With Ketchup

Shasta sat on the ground, the remains of a human male on the picnic table in front of him. He reached down with his right arm, and sliced off what was left of a leg, which he dipped into the vat of ketchup before consuming it like a French Fry. “Ummmm. Tasty,” he proclaimed, as he smacked his beak-like lips together.

I picked up what was left of a tiny female, dipping her top half into the ketchup. “It seems the old saying is true.”

I used my tongue to lick the ketchup off my face, then I belched, “Excuse me.”

Shasta started on the other leg of the human. “What old saying?”

“Something the humans say. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

Shasta nearly choked on his ketchup covered leg, “That’s a good one!”

“I thought so when I first heard it.” I finished off the tiny female. She was, in fact, crunchy, and good with ketchup. Not that we’d interrupted the wedding in the park to test the saying. Instead,  wedding party was just what we’d needed after our flight across the Atlantic.

There was a dragon on the rampage in West Virginia, starting fires, burning townships to the ground. His actions were threatening to reveal our presence to the world. The Elders couldn’t allow that, so they sent us to stop the rogue.

Now you might think a pair of dragons having a wedding party for lunch would be a problem, and would not help us hide our presence from the humans. But, that wasn’t actually the case. Shasta and I would eat all the remains of the dead humans, and leave no trace of our presence. It would be like the humans had just disappeared.

We hadn’t killed everyone, letting three or four escape. They’d run for their lives, screaming like crazy. The funniest one had been the slightly plump bride. It was so cute to watch the way she jiggled and bounced as she ran for her life in that white wedding dress of hers.

And of course, the survivors would all tell the same story. “Dragons! Dragons attacked us! They flew from the sky, and killed almost everyone! We’re lucky to be alive!”

Humans had a way of ignoring such claims, searching for the truth that fit into their understanding of the world. They’d believe it was something everyone ate, or something in the park that caused a mass hallucination. They’d send the survivors to counselors where they’d come to accept the hallucination idea. They’d determine the missing had left the country, and were hiding for some reason.

Shasta and I finished our meal. The ketchup added just the right zest to the humans, enhancing their flavor. We then cleaned the park, leaving no sign we’d been there.

“West Virginia, here we come!” Shasta roared as we took to the sky.

488 Words

I wrote this for Rebekah Postupak‘s #FlashFriday, Week 19. Please go read all the entries in this week’s #Flash Friday. They are good reading.