Miranda Kate’s Mid-Week Challenge: 2017/03/12

Vahit stood in the court, nestled between the buildings. As a child he’d tried to meet everyone. “Hello, I am Vahit. I live there. We are neighbors. I am pleased to meet you.” He had failed, of course. There were so many neighbors. And so many changes from week to week.

He’d learned, this is what life was like in the city. People stacked together in buildings, like sardines in an can. The same sardines you saw in the market, in the cans, that no one cared about. Tiny little dead fish. No one cared if they’d had families. No one cared if they’d had dreams. They were just dead fish, to be eaten by people like himself. People with no money, who lived in sardine cans, and dreamed of one day owning a car, a home, and a yard.

It was a lie, he knew that. He’d lived in the same sardine can for twenty-three years. He’d played the game, go to school, get an education, learn to read, to write. Learn math, and science, and a trade. Learn how to make a living. How to get paid. Learn skills, so you could one day find a woman, marry her, take care of her, and raise a family of your own.

It was how his mother had taught him to live. How her mother had taught her before Vahit even existed.

It was a lie.

Vahit knew he’d never leave his sardine can. He’d live there his whole life. He’d die there one day. And no one would mourn his passing. Another tiny, dead fish, in an ocean of tiny, dead fish. They would notice when the odor became strong enough. Then, dispose of his rotting body, and clean his part of the sardine can up. And find another sardine to put in his place.

It was the way of life. Meaningless. Pointless. An endless game of screaming into the void, “I am someone! I matter! Look at me!” One voice of millions, screaming the same thing, endlessly. And if one of those voices fell silent, what did it matter? Did anyone notice? Did anyone care?

Vahit had placed flowers outside the door of Sevda’s part of the sardine can every day for a week after Sevda died. No one noticed. No one spoke to him of Sevda. She with the soft, golden hair Vahit used to touch. She of the smooth skin that calmed him so much.

Sevda had gone, and except for Vahit, no one noticed. And on the seventh day after Vahit had found her dead body, cold as ice, on the mat she’d always slept on in the corner of her room, new sardines had filled in that space. They’d taken the flowers he’d left by the door, and thrown them out.

As if Sevda was no one. As if she’d never been.

No one greeted the new sardines. No one spoke to them. A man, a woman, and a little boy. They were just more sardines, living in a can. Waiting to die.

Vahit looked up at where the sky had once been. There was nothing there to see. Only light. Only the life of the city.

The sky was gone.

Vahit wondered as he stared at the white sky what it was like to be alive. He wondered too, if anyone, anywhere, any longer knew.


Miranda Kate has started a weekly short fiction challenge. You can read about it here. I’ve decided to write when I can. Please, go read her short tale this week, and any others that show up.

Mark.

The Lands Of Gray

Today I’m searching for words that effectively explain something I’ve learned this week. It’s something I’ve spent the past 30 months learning, and I’m realizing what I’ve learned comes with a lot of understanding. And that understanding leaves me wondering if words of explanation even exist, or if this is one of those things you know, and understand, or one of those things that doesn’t even exist. One of those invisible things no one ever looks at.

I wanted to look at “living outside your comfort zone” this morning. But, when I started looking, I found nothing but old clichés, old pep-talk, motivational crap that no longer has any meaning, if it had any meaning to begin with. I could only find homogenized, mass-marketed drivel, that for all intents had become useless. Everything said the same thing, in the same meaningless way, “To grow, live outside your comfort zone.” Everyone knows that saying. Everyone understands that saying. That saying no longer has any meaning.

So, I fall back to old descriptive techniques. And before I start down the path of trying to find the words that effectively explain what I’ve learned, I have a few words I have to share.

I’m a Christian. You can say what you want about how I live, how I’m doing everything wrong, how I’m a profound sinner, how I need to grow up, how I need to learn what a real Christian is, or any list of similar declarations. The reality is, I’m a Christian. What makes people question my faith in God and my belief in Jesus is that I am different. The simple truth is I don’t behave the way “Christians” behave. I don’t go to church. I question the words of the church, of its leaders, and of its organizations. I don’t have a “church family”. I associate with all the wrong people. Let’s be honest here, I actually talk with people on Facebook and Twitter that write explicit erotic romance stories, stories of zombies and the zombie apocalypse, mermaids, and fairies, openly homosexual, bisexual, and trans-sexual people. People the Bible and the church have declared are heathens, and evil, and the source of the world’s problems.

How can someone like me be a Christian… I understand that. I live with that question every day. And I’ve lost count of the people who have left my life when they realized I would never be the same kind of Christian they are. When they realized I would always question everything they believe, everything they never question.

But, you see, the reason I am not a Christian in their views, their way of life, their understanding, is because I’m someone they don’t understand. I’m someone outside the definitions they live by. Hence, I can’t be a Christian.

I could continue on this single point for days, weeks, months, even years, and never reach an end to this topic, this discussion, this idea.  For me, it’s a black and white item, a yes/no item, an either/or item. I’m either a Christian, or I’m not. And I believe I am. You believe what you wish to believe.

So, I pull out my old standby, the Christian. I start with them. The world would not be the same without them, so I’m very glad they exist.

I’ve said before, “I watch people”, and I do. I have to watch people. I have to study the way they behave, the way they think, the actions they take, the facial expressions they make, the environments they live within. People are social. Even I am social. Yes, I live with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and my social skills are severely limited by that disorder. Where social activity comes easily to many people, it doesn’t come easy to me, or to people like me. But I can behave in a social way. I can mimic social behavior, and with enough time I can begin to understand it.

My observations have, in the past thirty months, demonstrated endless rifts, chasms, gorges, oceans, and other divisions between different social groups, different social structures and different people. I don’t target “Christians” in the following, I simple have observed more “Christian” and “non-Christian” interaction than any other kind, so I have more stories of observations available for discussion that are specific to “Christian” and “non-Christian” social groups. As my observations spread to include other social groups, I’m finding similar divisions between them.

What I’m finding in my observations that are absolutely terrifying, and heartbreaking, is how few people within a specific social structure can reach across any of the divisions to any other social structure. I call each social structure, “the land of gray” because of that isolation I see surrounding each of them.

If I look at the non-inclusive “Christian” group, and its ways, and bounce that group against the non-inclusive “liberal” group, I find the two groups fight with each other endlessly. I also find neither side understands the true nature of the conflict any more. The separation between them is so divisive, so engulfing, neither side can speak the same language. They use the same words. They say the same things. But in each group, the words have different, distinct meanings. Using a dictionary to communicate with the two groups, and selecting the same dictionary definitions for each word to use the same language between the two groups is useless, because the words of the definitions have different meanings to each group.

So the two groups fight endlessly with each other. Neither group able to bridge the gap that lies between them. It is, to me, as if people from the planet Venus were trying to explain life to people from the planet Mars. It’s as if people from two different, incompatible worlds, decide to stand across the hall from each other, and scream at each other. There is no common ground. No understanding between the two groups. No communication between the two groups.

What happens when two people don’t understand each other, when they are unable to interpret each other’s actions, ways, words, beliefs and lifestyles? Is this a source of human wars, human conflict and human violence?

It saddens me greatly to see people unable to reach across these separations and divisions. Especially when the people in each social structure declare they believe, and embrace, diversity. Especially when they proclaim diverse views and ways are what make us, as a whole, stronger, healthier, smarter and better. It’s as if they are screaming, “We’re diverse so long as you believe exactly what we believe, and understand the universe just like we do!”

Which isn’t diversity at all, is it. Rather than being diverse, it’s a world filled with islands, each island being monochrome, each island being another shade of grey.

How do I find the words to explain such things to people? How can I show people what I see? When the words I speak are the same words they use, but each word means something different to them, something I never said, but something they heard?

How can words bridge such a divide?