Miranda Kate’s Mid-Week Challenge : 2020/10/18 (Week 170)

I suppose it’s what I deserved, for looking in the mirror. Even though I knew what I’d see, I looked anyway. I saw all that was left of me. Not my body. Not my skin, hair, clothes. None of what people look in a mirror to see.

I saw a dead, rotting, wasteland. Dead trees reached to the sky, their long dead trunks covered in molds and lichens, their leaves, in a thick layer on the ground that was slowly turning to dirt.

It was silent. Dead silent. I couldn’t hear anything. No birds, animals, even water in a stream, or leaves rustling on the ground. There was no wind, no clouds, no life at all. It was all dead. Dead, and rotting, turning back to the dirt it came from.

It wasn’t easy to look, especially since I knew what I was looking at. My brain knew, and heard my own words, echoing endlessly. “There’s nothing left of me. Nothing but the fire. Nothing but the anger, the rage. Everything else has been lost.”

It was my soul, in that mirror. My heart. All of it, dead. Everything I’d been, everything we are when we’re born, every dream we have, ever hope, ever feeling, laughter, sorrow, pain, joy, smiles, tears, all of it. Gone. Dead. And turning back into the dirt it had come from.

“You know, I did try to explain to them. I tried to tell them. I even said, more than once, there are parts of me that are gone, and I don’t care who you are, those parts aren’t coming back. They’re gone.”

“Anger destroys everything.” I seriously considered throwing something hard, and heavy, at that mirror, shattering it into a million bits of glass. I didn’t. I knew. That would only be another image of what was left of me. Tiny shards of glass, scattered everywhere, waiting to cut up the bare feet that walked across them, waiting to sink into the fingers that tried to gather them up, and make the ground safe to walk on once again.

“Anger destroys everything.” I couldn’t even remember where I’d read those words.

That’s when I told the mirror, “It’s all I had. This world,” I looked around, even glanced out the window, “there was no other way I could be.”

Perhaps another man would have cried, mourned for the loss of his soul, felt the emptiness of the shell that was his body. But that wasn’t me. I’d mourned decades ago, when I realized I couldn’t survive in this world, that this world would drive me, little by little, day after day, into insanity.

“Well. At least I did my best with what I did have. At least I tried to do something positive, something good.”

There was an old phrase I’d learned, over 30 years ago, “Even doing the right thing, for the wrong reasons, is wrong.”

I still didn’t know how to respond to that thought. Was it wrong to take rage, anger, hatred, and do something positive with them? All because rage, anger, and hatred were wrong to start with?

“Wonder if I’ll ever learn an answer to that?” I asked the desolation in that mirror. “Or is it not possible for a destroyed soul to learn anything?”

546 words
@mysoulstears


Written in response to the prompt for week 170 of Miranda Kate‘s Mid-Week Challenge. You can learn about Miranda’s challenge here. The stories people share for the weekly challenge are always little works of art, crafted with words, meant to be shared, and enjoyed. Please go read them all.

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#ThursThreads Week 322 : It Was Up To Them

The police checked every hotel. Ever bed and breakfast. Every campground, park, parking lot, vacant house, empty building. They held the greatest manhunt anyone in town had ever seen. They found nothing. I had to chuckle about that. After all, I was a dead man. A man who didn’t exist. Encased in an armor that diffracted the entire electromagnetic spectrum, and rendered me invisible. I couldn’t be seen, or heard. Even their camera systems were of no help.

They went door to door through the entire town. Nothing. No one had ever seen the man in the picture from the video. They found no car. No motorcycle. No taxi use. Nothing.

As they searched, the internet went insane for a third day. This time, it showed those who wished Michelle didn’t exist, so they never had to deal with that thing, Michelle, again. How so many of them smiled, and laughed, and cheered when they found her mangled body that day.

“I’m glad she’s gone.”

“I don’t have to be nice to it anymore!”

“Now, I can use the women’s room again!”

Those words were why I’d come to their town. Why I’d acted. Why I would finish what I’d started. It was up to them, to their actions, to their deeds. They’d acted with violence, hatred, and intolerance.

I’d responded in kind.

And revealed their hatred to the world. Like the saying goes. Nothing on the internet ever really goes away.

243 Words
@mysoulstears


The next part of the ongoing Armor 17 story. It’s Week 322 of #ThursThreads, hosted by Siobhan Muir. Please go read all the entries in this week’s #ThursThreads. They are always fun to read. And there are some great writers who turn out weekly.

Where Does It End?

If it starts with, “He’s a fag. Shoot him.”
Where does it end?
What happens next?
“She’s a whore. Shoot her.”
And then what?
“He divorced her. Shoot him.”
Seriously?
Where does it end?
“She slept with a man, and they weren’t married! Stone her!”
Does it ever end?
“He reads Playboy, looks at pictures of naked women! Pervert! Gouge out his eyes!”
Or when one domino falls,
Does it knock over the next?
“He’s got HIV. Kill him, for the safety of us all!”
And then the next…
“She’s bipolar! That’s not normal!”
And the next…
“He’s mentally deficient, and dependent on his parents!”
And the next…
“She’s got red hair!”
And the next…
“His eyes are blue!”
And the next…
“Her skin’s the wrong color!”
And the next…
“He likes flowers, and wears pink!”
Where does it end?
“She wears blue jeans!”
Or does hatred,
And fear,
Of what is different,
What is not us,
Keep going.
“He’s left handed!”
And going.
“She’s cross eyed!”
And going.
“He’s fat!”
Without end.

Until there’s no one left.

No one left at all.

Angels And Demons : Shoot It!

Mitchell pulled his gun, pointed it at Greg, and shot him. He pulled the trigger twice, and Greg fell. Then, Mitchell walked up to Greg, where he laid, bleeding on the asphalt parking lot, pointed his gun at Greg’s head, and pulled the trigger eight more times, emptying his G26’s cartridge.

Greg was dead.

Mitchell pulled the spent clip from his gun, shoved it in one of his big pants pockets, reached into another pocket, and pulled out another clip, fully loaded with another ten rounds. He didn’t behave like he’d killed another human being. He behaved like he’d made the world a safer place.

Fear and Hatred lurked in the shadows cast by parked cars to either side of Mitchell. Both smiled, delighted with the progress they’d made with Mitchell. Such strong emotions. Fear spoke to Hatred, “We could use many more like him.”

“Indeed.” Hatred relished every drop of hatred pouring off Mitchell. “I like the way he never questions what he’s done.”

“Indeed.” Fear laughed. “He’s so afraid of anything he doesn’t understand.”

“Living in a little box of life.” Hatred took another moment to drink in more of Mitchell’s rage. More of his raw hatred. “It’s so easy to get them to kill each other, isn’t it?”

“That’s what makes it so fun.” Fear poked Hatred in the ribs. “Whisper the things they want to hear in their ears, and they’ll do anything you want them too.”

Mitchell held his gun at the ready, and waited. The other one would be arriving soon. He’d kill it too. Making the world another touch safer. Another step cleaner. Another step more Holy. Bringing everyone another step closer to God.

He didn’t like being in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. But, that’s where these evil creatures were. And as long as they existed, no one was safe.

Fear inhaled the fear and hatred filling the air. “Can’t wait to see him off the other one.”

Hatred stepped behind Mitchell’s ear, “It’ll be here any minute now. Another homo. Another fag. Another of those creatures contaminating the human race.”

Mitchell paced in little circles, always watching the door, waiting for the other half of the evil couple to appear, so he could kill it too. Shoot it, and then go up to it, and make sure it was dead.

With the two homos gone, the world would be a better place.

“To think,” Fear took his place behind Mitchell, “All it took was a little whisper in his ear.” Fear leaned forward and whispered in Mitchell’s ear, “Perhaps you should shoot this ones balls off. I mean. it’s not like it needs them.”

Mitchell nodded his head, slowly. “I know. I’ll shot this ones nuts off. It’s doesn’t deserve to have them.”

Greg’s partner came out of the store, carrying a bag of groceries in each hand. He had eggs, pancake mix, sausage, and milk in one bag. Breakfast for the next few days for the two of them. The other bag had sliced ham, turkey, cheese (two kinds), and a loaf of wheat bread. Sandwiches for lunch. He always packed a lunch for Greg. A sandwich, a diet soda, and a bag of chips.

Greg loved ham and swiss.

As he got closer to the car, he noticed a strange man standing beside it. He wondered who the man could be. He’d left Greg in the car, so it was likely the man was talking with Greg. He picked up his pace, to go rescue his love from the stranger.

He didn’t see Greg until he got to the car. He dropped his groceries. Greg was dead. His head all but destroyed. His blood all over the pavement. He gasped, his hands pressing against his cheeks, “Greg!” he cried out.

Mitchell shot him. Twice. In the chest. When he fell, Mitchell walked up to him, stood over him, and shot him two more time, in the head. Then, he for the man’s crotch, and emptied the last six rounds of the cartridge into it.

Hatred gleefully bounced up and down, “Oh, that was a good twist!”

“Yes, it was! Yes it was!”

The demons bathed in the hatred and fear gushing from Mitchells heart and soul. The man hated things like those two had been. He hated them passionately. “We should just kill them all.”

He never batted an eye as he walked away. And that night, he slept peacefully, and soundly. Without a worry in the world.

Fear whispered in his ear all night, “There are more things like them out there. Perhaps you should hunt them all down.”

Hatred whispered in his other ear. “Faggots. Homos. They’ll destroy us all. Unless we kill them first.”

Another Lie

I have grown tired of trying to understand people sitting in judgement of those around them. People declaring, “You are evil. You are a spawn of Satan. You are going to burn in eternity with him.”

My psychologist told me, “Don’t touch religion, Marcus. For religion is irrational, nonsensical, and something people only see the way they want to see it. They don’t understand anything else about it.”

But I am angry. I am angry from having lived within a lie for over 40 years. The lie that religion, the church, is tolerant, and forgiving, and welcomes all. The lie that religion seeks to save people from Satan, and themselves.

Religion destroys families. It drives children away from their parents. It drives husbands and wives apart. It drives brother and sister apart. Oh, I know. I know. I can hear people screaming the words now. “Jesus said those who follow him will have to leave behind their families!”

You know. I don’t even care where it says that in the four Gospels of the Holy Bible, King James Version anymore. Because it’s been taken out of context so long it has no meaning anymore. It has become an excuse. A reason. Something people use to justify being unforgiving, intolerant, and judgmental.

Too many parts of the Bible have become the same thing. An excuse.

What about the part of the Gospel where Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan? Remember that story? The story every child learns in church. About the Samaritan that helped the man by the roadside, when the Jewish people, including the pharisees, and priests, ignored him, and walked by. Because he wasn’t one of them. Remember that story?

What about the parts of the Gospel where Jesus worked on the Sabbath. Picking grain in the fields, so he and his disciples could eat. Remember that story?

What about Jesus eating with the evil, heartless tax collector, hated by everyone. Remember that story?

Why am I wasting my breath? Why am I beating my head against the concrete wall again? Why am I pointing out things, stories, and tales, everyone knows, and many can recite by heart? I already know no one that needs to hear, no one that needs to listen, no one that needs to read, will.

Every word I say will fall on two types of ears. Ears that already know. That already understand. That already see how things are. How the church has become. And those that won’t hear. Those that will declare me a demon, trying to divide God’s people. Trying to separate them from God. They will not accept, in any way, the words of a heathen sinner such as me.

This is why I have walked away from the church.

This is why I shall never return to the church.

To me, the church has lost its way. It has become what it was in the time of Jesus, and his disciples. So wrapped up in its traditions, its own ways, its own beliefs, it no longer functions. It has become a club for those with the same beliefs. The same understanding of the words of the Bible. It has become isolated from the world, because the people of the church have decided it must isolate itself from the world.

The church no longer functions at God intended.

So, I have walked away. I have sought people who understand how the church no longer functions. That see it, and its people, for the judgemental, isolated, frightened, biased, and closed-minded people they are.

And I find it hilarious how the people of the church believe they are the victims of prosecution at the hands of the people they declare are Satan’s children. How they cry “We are persecuted!” when they persecute everyone not belonging to their religion. How they scream, “We are not allowed to follow our beliefs publicly!” when they raise their hands, and scream, “They’re practicing their religion in public! And it’s infringing my rights!”

I have grown tired of the double standards the religion of my youth has embraced.

I would say I feel disappointed and saddened, that I have had to walk away. But the reality is I’m angry. For I see this same double standard embraced by every religion. Every social group. Every cultural group. I see the same hatred everywhere I look. The Christians hate the Gays. The Gays return the favor. The Republicans hate the Democrats. The Democrats, in turn, hate the Republicans. Men declare there is no war on women, and women declare there is no war on men. And vice versa. It never ends.

So I have walked away from the church. Not because I have given up on God. Not because I don’t believe Jesus died to forgive me for the sins I have committed in this life. No. I have walked away from the church to find the truth. A truth I know is no longer in the church.

I seek the path of Jesus. Not the path of the church. Not the path of politics. Not the path of money. Not the path of success. Not the path of fame, or glory. I see the path of Jesus.

And I can no longer find that in the church.

I have to find that by walking alone. Seeking the guidance of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghost. And finding others who have learned the same thing I have learned. That we have all forgotten the truth. That we are all lost. And need to find the grace, and forgiveness of God.

#ThursThreads Week 92 : Like Hell It Is

“I hear Earth is a beautiful place.”

I looked at the young angel next to me. He bore no scars. The armor on his wings was still polished, and new. He had never been to Earth before. Never faced Lucien’s minions before. Never faced humans before. So, he didn’t know.

“Yeah. It’s pretty enough.”

He smiled. “Tell me about it?”

I kept it simple. “Earth has nights and days. It rotates on its axis. So the sun seems to come up from the horizon every day. And then sink below the horizon later that day. It’s pretty enough. Lots of colors. Pink, orange, yellow, gold.”

“That sounds beautiful.”

“It has oceans of water covering over ⅔ of its surface. Where the oceans meet the land, there are cliffs, and beaches. With rocks and sand.”

“I want to see them. Sunrise, sunset, beaches, cliffs. Can we see them?”

“Yeah, kid. We can see them.”

So innocent. He didn’t know about fear, anger, rage, hatred, bigotry, pride, arrogance, lust. He didn’t know about sin. I sighed. I couldn’t let him go in blind. “There’s something you should know about earth. It’s beautiful, but it’s flawed.”

“Flawed?”

“Ever hear the saying like Hell on Earth?” The kid just stared at me, so I explained. “Lucien and the fallen ones live there. Demons all. Earth itself is not Hell. But like hell it is.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know, kid. I know. But you will. You will.”

The ship started its descent.

248 Words
@LurchMunster


I wrote this for Siobhan Muir‘s #ThursThreads, Week 92. Please go read all the entries in this week’s #ThursThreads. They are good reading.

 

#5SF : Conquer

You Americans. Don’t you know life is not a conquest? You do not conquer your emotions, anger, fear, rage, hatred. You do not subdue them without crushing your own heart and soul. Instead, you learn to understand them, to live with them, to accept they are part of life, to used them appropriately, correctly, and to never be afraid of them.


Here’s my weekly attempt at Lillie McFerrin‘s flash fiction challenge, Five Sentence Fiction. This week, the prompt is Conquer.

Please, go read all the other entries to this week’s Five Sentence Fiction. It’s amazing what creative people can do with just five sentences.