I Left The Dome

Now, I sit at my computer.
Alone.
In silence.
There are no more messages
On it’s screen.
No more words from people
Scattered around the world.
No more links to stories.
No more memes.

I did this.
I’m the reason.
I disconnected.
Deliberately.
Purposefully.
I pulled the plug,
And ended it all.

I sometimes wonder
If I should explain.
But it doesn’t really matter
Does it.
Who would hear me?
Who would read the words?
No one.
And I know that.
I’ve known that all along.

It was another case of,
“You can’t do that!”
Another time I did something
That broke all the social rules.
I know the cost.
I know the price.
I’ve broken all the rules before.
I’ll break them all again someday.
Because.
To me, they’re just a bunch of words
Anyway.
Nothing physical at all.
Just words.
Written on paper.
“Here’s the proper way to behave.”

No one ever asked me
How I felt about that.

Just another case of me
Walking out of another world
Contained inside a dome.
The rules didn’t work for me.
I tried for over 5 years.
And the rules didn’t work.
So,
I left the dome.

No one follows you
When you do that.
To the people in the dome,
You’re gone.
You’ve left the universe.
Left the world.
Left them.

I could wander back,
But what would be the point?
I already know the rules
Inside that dome
Don’t work for me.

That’s why I left.

It will take some time
For me to figure out
What’s next.
It always does.
But I always figure it out.
Always have.
Always will.

Really, I’m just in a bigger dome.
One that holds a lot of others.
That’s really all I’ve done.
Left one tiny dome
For a bigger one.

I haven’t found the walls of this one yet.
But in time I will.

Everything’s wide open now.
Unrestrained.
I’m free to feel what I feel.
About everything.
And I can scream if I want.
Yell if I want.
Say what I really feel.
About anything.
Happy.
Sad.
Angry.
Frustrated.
Disturbed.
Calm.
Content.
All of it.

The rules of that little dome
No longer apply.
Not out here they don’t.

And no one is out here.
So no one hears.
And my words fall into silence.

Silence.

Because.
Everybody.
Everybody everywhere.
Lives inside a dome.
Even if they don’t know it.
Even if they think they don’t.

And they can’t see anything
Beyond its walls.
Can’t understand anything
Beyond its walls.
They live by the rules
Of their dome.

Now.
I’m outside that dome.
Among a sea of domes.
Watching.
Observing.
And learning.
And waiting.

Knowing that out here.
No one hears me when I speak.
Out here.
I’m on my own.

Out here
All the voices are gone.
They live in their domes.

Out here
I am isolated.
I am alone.
And
I am silenced.

Out here.
Outside all the domes.
I have to find my way.
On my own.

Perhaps it’s what I’ve been meant to do
All along.

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4 thoughts on “I Left The Dome

  1. I’m still here. I am not gone. I don’t want to be gone. I am sorry if the dome you were in with me didn’t work for you either – I didn’t even realise I was in a dome. I tend to step in and out of lots of them. But I’m not gone, and you can’t make me go.

  2. I hope you feel a little better, having shifted that lot off your chest. Made me feel better about my own pit of despair, so thank you for that… If you think about it, we are all alone, something I usually enjoy. Sad, I know, but such is life…

  3. Pingback: I Left The Dome | Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie

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