#ThursThreads Week 112 : Just Like You

It was Sunday morning. Time to go to church.

I staggered out of bed. “Work, legs! Work!” I staggered into the bathroom, stripped, turned on the shower, and staggered in. The water was fucking cold! “Jesus!” I turned the hot all the way up. “Fuck!” as I felt my skin boiling away. I stepped out of the water, and stuck a hand under it while I adjusted it.

“I hate fucking Sundays!” I soaped up and rinsed, then washed my balding head. Then I turned the water off. “You’re fucking out of time!”

I got out, dried off, then shaved as I stood in front of the mirror. Standing there, starkers, I wondered about those guys that shave their nuts. The thought of even using an electric razor down there terrified me. “Maybe the use Nair or something?”

I got dressed. Even put on a tie. Had to tie that bitch three times. I got it tied, looked in the mirror, “Fuck!” and started over.

I hopped in the car and floored it, stopping at Hardee’s for a giant Coke, and a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. I ate as I flew down the highway, screaming, “Fucking idiot!” every time I had to change lanes to get around some slow ass bastard.

Of course I got there on time. And once there, everything was perfect. And after the service, all the old bitches said to me, “I wish my boy was just like you.”

Fuck yeah!

246 Words
@LurchMunster


I wrote this for Siobhan Muir‘s #ThursThreads, Week 112. Please go read all the entries in this week’s #ThursThreads. They are good reading.

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