“You’re still finding your way, aren’t you?”
I laughed. That question was all Shelly.
“Tom, I’m serious.”
I made a point of looking into her soft, green eyes, so she’d understand I was paying attention to her. “Yes.”
“A normal person would have gone back to work by now.”
I shook my head. “I’m not normal. You know that.”
“But you had a good job. You were successful. You were part of society.”
I knew she felt I’d come apart. Collapsed. Fallen to pieces. What happened to me made her sad. I knew she didn’t understand the life journey I was on. I knew she never would.
All I could do was smile.
She pulled her hair back over her shoulders. She did that when she tried to think through something.
“I can’t return to the world that nearly killed me.”
“Then find another job. Don’t let your skills go to waste.” Her eyes had that look people give each other when they know what they’re talking about. I know those looks exist. But I don’t know what they mean. “It’s like you’ve given up.”
I wanted to tell her I hadn’t given up. I’d awakened. Come alive. Stepped beyond the walls of the life she lived in. Walls she couldn’t even see. And that wasn’t really the worst of it. The worst was she believed I no longer cared.
“When I find what I’m looking for.”
I wrote this for Siobhan Muir‘s #ThursThreads, Week 82. Please go read all the entries in this week’s #ThursThreads. They are good reading.