My doc asked, “It’s Valentine’s Day. How are you handling that.” He knew damn well what I would answer.
“It sucks, as usual.” Of course, I knew he wouldn’t let me stop there. He’d make me explain, going into detail. “I sent a Valentine’s E-Mail to Betty, said I’d give her a virtual hug, and virtual kiss on the cheek. Well… The other half saw it somehow, and that’s where the bruise on my left cheek came from. Never saw that coming.”
Doc was smiling. Never a good sign.
“I got a card for Halley at work. Said Have a Happy Valentine’s Day. That’s all it said! Nothing else. She brought it back to me, tore it in half, and tossed it in my trash can, and said if I ever did anything like that again, she was gonna report me for sexual harassment.” I shook my head. “I have no idea what I did wrong there.”
Doc was almost laughing. It was gonna be a long session.
“I gave Gina a tiny candy bar. A whopping 1.5 ounces. She made me eat it, all the while explaining to everyone how I was trying to make her fat. Then she slapped me, and stormed off.”
I shook my head, looked square in Doc’s eyes. “I fuckin’ don’t get these social holiday things. Maybe I should just give up on ‘em.”
I wrote this little ditty for the Love Bites Blog Hop, hosted by the Inklingettes. I couldn’t resist this blog hop. There are lots of really good stories in this one, from writers having fun striking back at Cupid and all the schmaltz of Valentine’s Day. Go read them all, and enjoy the holiday.