She’s Crippled By Fear

She told me,
“I can’t get involved.
I can’t care.
I can’t do anything.
But pray.”

And that night.
When our conversation
Reached it’s end.
My heart ached
Within my chest.
And my soul
Cried so very many
Tears of pain.

I have wondered
Since that day.
How deeply she was hurt
When everything in her life
Came apart.

I know she got divorced.
I know things didn’t end well.
She raised her daughter
On her own.
The father was simply gone.

I know there are other things
That just went wrong.
And I know those things
Left scars
Upon her heart and soul.
As they would
On anyone’s.

But the words she said to me
That day.
I’ll remember them
Always.
They will echo in my memory
Through the rest
Of my days.

For to me
They said one thing.

“I can’t risk being hurt again.”

And each time I think of this,
Each time I think of her.
And the words she shared
That day.

My heart aches once again.
And my soul cries more tears
Of pain.

For I’ve learned
Pain is a part of life.
One of the many things
That defines us.
Grows us.
Tempers us.
So that we become
Who and what
Life meant for us to be.

Pain is just emotion.
Like laughter.
And like tears.
Like anger.
And like joy.
Like everything
We feel
In our hearts.
And souls.

I would not be the person
That I am today
If I had done everything I could
To avoid,
At any cost,
More pain.

I spoke two days ago.
Of a friend of mine
That’s passed beyond
The veil of life.
She’s gone.
And I’ll never hear her voice
Again.
She’s not there
To share stories with.
I’ll never make her laugh.
I’ll never have another chance
To see her
Face-to-face.

I watched what she endured
In her last months and years
With us.
Here on this Earth.
In the life we lead.

And I watched
As people left.
They quit talking
With her.
They went away.
Left her alone.
Isolated.

Sometimes people do things
That are so heartless.
And so cruel.

The simple truth is
They all left
So that they wouldn’t have to hurt
When her time here
Reached it’s end.

And my heart aches for them.
For the truth is
I have memories
Of my friend
That they don’t have.
And never will.

Because they were afraid
Of pain.
Afraid of being hurt
Once more.
The kind of hurt
That makes you cry.
That brings tears to your eyes.

And shows how fragile,
And how fleeting
The lives we are blessed with
Really are.

She spoke to me one day.
She said these words to me,
“I can’t get involved.
I can’t care.
I can’t do anything.
But pray.”

And every time I remember
The words she said that day
My heart aches in my chest.
And my soul cries tears of pain.
For I know
She’s going through her life
Crippled.
By her fear
Of being hurt again.

And I know
Also,
She’s not alone.
She’s not the only one
That’s turned their back on life,
And is running from the thought
Of being hurt again.

I just wish there was a way
I could show here what I see
When I look around.
And watch the things
That people do.

I just wish there was a way
I could explain to her
What the words she shared
With me that day
Mean to me.

Pain is a part of life.
It’s another things I feel.
I see no reason
To avoid it,
Any more than I
Would go out of my way
To avoid laughter,
And smiles.

It’s just a feeling.
And feelings
Change.

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