I Wonder What It Means

What does it mean,
I wonder,
When the mentally ill male
Of a group
Of 30 males
Donates platelets
24 times a year.
And sends money
At least twice a year
To the Breast Cancer Society.

And the other 29 males,
Normal people that they are,
Don’t donate any time,
Or any money
Either.

What does it mean,
I wonder,
When the single female
In that group,
Gets diagnosed with breast cancer.
And fights the battle
Of her life.

And the only male within that group
That changes at all.
Is the one that’s mentally ill.

The depressed one.
The autistic one.
The one that doesn’t care
About anyone.
Anywhere.
The one with no empathy.
That can’t even understand
A simple request to please sit down
When he’s offered a chair.

How would you feel
If I were to tell you
What I describe above
Is true.
That it really happened.

That I’m that one person
In that group.
The mentally ill one.

And the only one
That changed
Because of what happened
To someone I knew.
To someone I worked with.
For several years.

Can you tell me what that means?
Can you tell me what it says?
About how people are?

I’ve learned
I’m not uncaring.
I’m not ruthless.
I’m not heartless.
Not at all.

And I wonder
All the time.
Why no one that I knew
Even notices
The things they do,
Or the way they are.

I wonder what it means
If the one that’s different,
The one that just does not fit in.

Is the one
With the living,
Beating,
Caring
Heart.

And the normal ones
Are not.

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