Understanding Holidays

Thank you, God.
For letting me survive
Another holiday.

Holidays are hard for me,
You know.
I’ve never really understood
The holidays at all.
And the way people behave
On holidays.

Memorial day is especially hard
For me.
Because I am not able
To limit my feelings
Toward service personnel
That have been casualties
Of war.

It is because of them
That we are free.
I try to remember this
Every day I am alive.

So I fail to see the purpose
Of a Memorial Day.
The reason it exists.
To me it’s all just wrong.
To set aside one day a year
Just to honor them.

At the same time,
I do understand
That if there wasn’t a
Memorial Day,
There would be a lot less people
That truly honored
Service Personnel
At all.

People confuse me.
Can you tell?

I’ve been thinking about
The holidays
For several months now.
Trying to find the words
To express how they make me feel.,
So far, I haven’t found a way.

I spent time last night
Talking with some friends on-line.
Reading carefully the words
They shared with me.
As they tried to explain
Why people go insane
On the holidays.

They described how holidays
Are so important.
Because on a holiday
You don’t go to work.
You get to stay at home.
With Family and Friends.

And take off the facades
They wear at work
Ever day.
And do something different
For a change.

It gives them a break
From work.
From schedules.
From plans.
And all the rest.

Which leaves me wondering
If anything I see at work
Is real.
Or  if everything,
And everyone,
In the working world
Is fake.

And if that’s the case,
When did that happen?
And why?
Is this another case
Of  people living
In a lie?

My friends told me
Social activities,
Like holidays,
Let people take a break
From the monotony
Of the work they hate.
The work they do
Every day.

And today,
After I’ve had time to think
About the words of my friend,
I feel as if I have an answer
For the first time in my life.

These events are how people
Escape from the trap
Their work lives have become.
So they can relax,
And have some fun.

I’ve always had this feeling
About the holidays.
That everyone around me
Was talking silently
In that social way
That I can’t see
Or hear,
Or sense.

That they were all winking,
And nodding.
And laughing
Among themselves.
But I couldn’t understand
Why people would do that.
Or what such behavior
Could possibly mean.

And today, I have an answer.

People use holidays
To escape from their daily lives,
Yes.
But there’s more to it
Than that.

It’s a social behavior
That people just have.
That’s been developed over time
So that as a group,
Or a society,
They all understand
That it’s just a holiday.
And nothing more.

A time where they can
Just let go
Of how they have to be,
Socially,
In the land of the workplace.

It’s a difficult thing
For me to grasp,
And understand,
How people feel
About the holidays.

But as my understanding grows,
I’m finding that at last
I have some clues.

And the feelings that I have
About how people behave
As if how they are
On a holiday
Is the part of them they hide
In the land of the workplace.

I really hope with time
My understanding grows.
And someday I will
At long last,
Understand the holidays.

Even if I don’t agree with them.

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