Things Just Seem So Backwards To Me

I got home from work today.
Having dealt with people
And their broken computers
For five solid hours.

I found myself thinking
How people could get so upset
About a dang machine.
That’s all it is.
If it breaks,
You deal with it.

And I heard myself think,
“Get over it, people.”

And those four words
Suddenly clicked into place.
And I understood something
That I’ve never understood
Before.

Words a dear friend told me
Several times.
In May, June, and July.
Words she spoke many times.
About just moving on
With life.

I didn’t understand.

And I remember
When someone I once knew
Had cancer.
And was fighting for her life.
How I got told
By everyone.
Including her.
To not care too much.

I didn’t understand.
At all.

It’s taken me two years.
But I finally have a clue
To what everyone
Tried to say.
What they all just
Knew.

That when something happens
To someone
In this world
I never made.
They’ve learned
To just move on.

I can see that now.
That they just believe
There’s nothing they can do.
That these things just happen.
And you deal with them.
And you just move on.

You just get over it.

As that piece of life
Fell into place
I remembered too
How I reacted
To all of them
Two years ago.

And I know.
I know.

I’d do the same thing
Again.

Because I understand
The value
Of the people
That I know.
I know they’re real.

They are not constructs.
Made by mortal men.
Each is a life.
A gift.
From this universe.

But a phone.
A computer.
Or any other device.
Is just that.
A device.
We made them.

They are part
Of our economy.
Another thing we’ve made.
Part of or society.
Which we also made.

And suddenly
I realized that once again
I was backwards
From the world.

In that I understand
What’s real
Has not been made
By Man.
But is a gift
From life.
That we can’t duplicate.
That we can’t explain.

And I also realize
Yet again.
That the things we can’t explain
Are the very things
That people pretend
Aren’t real.
And don’t exist.

I find myself sitting here,
Remembering words I wrote
More than a year ago.
About how the life we lead
Is backwards.

How we place more value
On the things we have created.
Our countries.
Our economy.
Our industries.
Our money.
Our treasures.
Our homes.
Our cars.
And our computers.

All the things
We’ve made.

That we place
On the life
We’ve been blessed with.
The life
That we’ve been given.

Leaving me to ask once more.
When did we lose our way?

When did it become so wrong
To care about the people
That you know.
So that when they’re hurt,
Or sick,
Or ill.
Your own heart and soul
Know pain?

I thought that was how
Life was supposed to be.
I thought we mourned the loss
Of people that we knew.
That we healed with time.
And learned to face the truth
That they were gone.

I thought we helped
The people that we know.
When they need our help.
When their hearts and souls
Cry tears of pain.

I thought we showed the people
In our lives
That we care for them.

But in these past 2 years
I’ve come to understand
That things don’t really
Work that way.
In this world
I never made.

That instead,
We defend our own.
Our lives.
Our things.
Our families.
Our jobs.
Our homes.

Even if the person
That we’ve worked with
For more than ten years.
Gets laid off one day.
Gets diagnosed with cancer.
Or even hit by a truck.

We wish them good-bye.
We tell ourselves
We care.

And then we carry on
With our jobs.
Our cars.
Our homes.
Our lives.

And everything we’ve made.

So once more
I find myself
Asking God above
To not give up
On anyone I’ve ever known.
On anyone that I know now.

For I know
He never once
Gave up on me.

If he had.
I wouldn’t be here now.

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