Everything Was Broken

I stood on the sand.
By the water’s edge.
Looking out to sea.

It was Sunday.
In August.
The sun had been up
Only for an hour.
And already
I was standing
On the sand.

“Everything is broken,”
I remember thinking.
I remember standing there.
Hearing those words
In my head.
Over and over.
Endlessly.

I’d walked on the sand.
God knows how long.
God knows how far.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t care.
I didn’t even know
How I’d gotten there.
To the sand
That day.
And I didn’t care.

Nothing mattered anymore.
Everything was broken.

For me,
The world had ended.
Everything I knew.
Everything I understood.
Everything I believed.
Was gone.
Lost.
All of it.
A lie.
Meaningless.
Lost.

I stood there.
And I watched the ocean.
I  watched the waves.
I watched  them come in.
Cresting.
And breaking.
White caps
And foam.

I watched the way sunlight
Glinted off the ripples
In the surface
Of the ocean.
Forming little diamonds
That were there.
And then were gone.

The way the sunlight
Illuminated the backs
Of waves.
Shining right through them.
Making them brighter
Than the ocean
They were part of.
And then
They were gone.

Everything was gone.
Everything was broken.

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