My Soul’s Tears

Thursday, 12 January 2012

My Soul’s Tears

I went to the Botanical Garden
Again today.
I like to go there
As I’ve said.
To walk among the flowers,
And the trees,
And all the other things
That are there.

I was sad
When I got there,
Because I knew
That so many people
I have met
Would never walk there.
Would never allow themselves
To see the beauty
Of the place.

It was a very sad thing
To me.

As I walk
Through the gardens
And the trees,
I listen to the music
That I like.
And today
Was no exception.

I listened to music
By Sirenia,
And Tarja,
And Within Temptation.
And as I walked
Sometimes there was a song
On my music player
That I found I had
To listen to.

Like when Tarja sang
I Walk Alone.

“I walk alone
Every step I take
I walk alone

My winter storm
Holding me awake
It’s never gone
When I walk alone”

It was somewhat painful
I must admit
To think once again
How many times
I’ve walked through the gardens
All alone.

All on my own.

But something’s different
Than it was a year ago.
For a year ago
I walked alone
For there was no one
To walk with.

This year,
I have friends.
And I wish
They had the time
To walk with me.
For I know a walk
Through the gardens
Would do them good.

But they never have the time.
They never find the time.
They never make the time.
To take a walk
Through the flowers
And the trees.

I found that my heart ached,
And my soul cried tears of pain
For each of them.

As I walked through the Camellias,
Filled with so many blooms,
I noticed every now and then
Other people would walk through.

Not one of them stopped
And looked.

And it was then
That Sharon Den Adel’s voice
Rang out the words
Of Within Temptations’s song,

“And I can’t live in a fairy-tale of lies
And I can’t hide from the feeling ‘cause it’s right
And I go faster and faster and faster and faster for life
I can’t live in a fairy-tale of lies”

And I damn near cried,
For my heart ached so much,
And tears rained down
From my soul.

For I suddenly knew
That even if the friends
I have today
Took the time
To walk through the flowers
And the trees
Of the gardens,
That’s all that they would do.

They’d walk right through.
Not taking any time at all
To look at much
Of anything.

And they would miss
The beauty that I see
Every time I walk
Through the gardens.
Even when I’m not

And as my music played
I found I had to ask myself,
“Why have they embraced
The Demon’s Fate?”

And Sharon Den Adel’s voice
Rang in my head

“What have you done?
Is this what you wanted?
What have you become?
Your soul’s not forsaken
You’re walking alone
From heaven into hell.
Now you know
Your way in this madness
Your powers have gone
Your chains have been broken
You’ve suffered so long
You will never change.”

As I sit here tonight,
Remembering my day,
And the walk
I made the time to take
Through the flowers
And the trees.
To simply look
At all the blooms
That I could see,
I hope you finally
Begin to understand
What it is I mean
When I speak of

My Soul’s Tears.


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