All I Wish To Be

I told her once
That I could see the scars
Upon her heart and soul.
That I could see
She had been badly hurt.

There are things
I did not say.
Things that my own heart,
And my own soul
Say to me.

I have seen that hurt
Many times before.
I know what causes it.
I know there was a time
When she loved someone.
And maybe that someone
Once loved her.

But something happened.
Something changed.
Or something
Never really worked.
And the one she trusted
With her heart
Left her.

I don’t need to know why.
I don’t need to know when.
I don’t need to know
How many tears she cried.

All I need to know
I can see
In the scars that are right there
Upon her heart,
Upon her soul.
That I can’t help but see.

I know too many people
That would ignore
What they see.
What their hearts tell them
Is the truth.
What their hearts
Would have them do.

They would not even try
To help.
Because they believe
There is nothing
They can do.
Except to perhaps
Get hurt

“There’s nothing I can do.”
I’ve heard those words
My entire life.
“I can’t be hurt like that
I’ve heard those words
“I don’t need
That kind of pain
In my life.”

I understand those words.
I really,
Truly do.
And it is not my way
To ask anyone
To do anything
They do not believe
That they should do.

But I know too
That there are things
That I can do.
If I only believe
That I can.

You see,
There is a gift
That life has given me.
A magic way
Of using words.
To capture dreams.
And make them real.

And I can use that gift
To create dreams
That I can share
With her.
And with others
That I cannot help
But see.

Upon their hearts
And souls.

And I can use another gift
That life has given me.
The gift of my autistic ways.
To find a way
To extend the hand
Of a friend
To her.

For I would call her

And it would not do at all
I think
If she were to be
Afraid of me.
Afraid that I
Might hurt her
In the way
That caused the scars I see
Upon her heart
And soul.

I will find a way
To take the time it takes
For her,
And others like her,
To understand
That all I want
Is to be a friend.

And that’s all I wish
To be.


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