The Washington Redskins Will Lose Today

Here I sit,
On the sofa in my home.
With my big TV on.
Watching the football game.
The Washington Redskins
Are playing against
The Saint Louis Rams.
In Saint Louis,
Of course.

If you look at the statistics
Of both teams.
You have to say
Quite honestly,
That the Redskins really should
Win the football game.

But there’s something you don’t know.
A big secret that I have.
I’m watching that football game.
And that almost certainly means
The Redskins just won’t win.

See,
I’ve noticed that the Redskins
Find a way to lose
Every single time
I watch the game.
And recently,
They seem to lose
Even if I know the score
During the game.

I started noticing this pattern
Several years ago.
How I’d watch the game.
And the Redskins
Always found a way
To lose the game
That day.

If the game was close
I could get up,
And walk away.
Doing dishes,
Or laundry,
Or going out to eat.
And the ‘Skins sometime recovered,
And somehow found a way
To win the game.

On the days I didn’t watch at all,
And didn’t even know
Who they were playing.
I could check the score
That evening,
And be pleasantly surprised
To learn the ‘Skins had won.

So here I sit
This afternoon.
Watching the ‘Skins play.
And somehow
I won’t be surprised at all
To see them lose the game.

Perhaps I’m just not meant
To watch football…

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