Fiction : She Looked In The Mirror

Monday, 09 May 2011

[Author’s Note: I’ve decided to put this post back up on this blog. I keep running into things similar to what this one addresses.]

She was only 18 years old.
A senior in high school.
Sitting at home again.
Alone.
On a Friday night.

All of her girlfriends,
Becky,
Judy,
Kelly
And all the rest.
Were out with their boyfriends.
At a movie,
Or the mall.
Or even at the beach.

And there she was.
Sitting at home.
Alone.
On another Friday night.
Just her.
And the TV.
And the people  she talked with
On the ‘Net.

One of her male ‘Net friends
That lived so very far away
That she’d likely never meet him
In real life,
Always said to her,
“I’d ask you out
In a heartbeat.”

Her senior prom
Had been a week ago.
She hadn’t gone to it.
Though she’d wanted to.
But she’d have had to go
Alone.

No one had even asked her
To go with him.
All of her girlfriends had gone.
All of them with their boyfriends.
And not a single boy
Had asked her
To go with him.

She looked up at Heaven
Right then,
On that Friday night,
And she spoke these words
To God.

“Why am I all alone?
Why doesn’t anyone
Ask me out?
Why doesn’t anyone
Love me?
Why do I spend
All my Friday nights
At home?
Why am I all alone?”

She turned off the TV.
And just held the power button
On her laptop down,
Until it turned itself off.
Then she got up,
And went to her bedroom.

There was a mirror there.
A big one.
She used it every day
To make sure
Her clothes looked OK.
That they fit her well.
That the colors all were right.

But on this Friday night,
She looked into that mirror
For a while.
And she couldn’t help but see
Her round face
Staring back at her.

Where her girlfriends
All had skinny arms,
Hers were clearly not.
Hell, they looked like the legs
Of some of the other girls.

She knew too
That her boobs
Weren’t big enough.
They didn’t stand out
The same way
As those of her girlfriends.

She looked to be as wide
Around her waist
As she was at her shoulders.
And she couldn’t help but see
That she had a muffin top
Just above her jeans.

And her butt
Was freakin’ huge.
And her thighs
Were too.

And she sat down
Of the floor
Of her bedroom.

And cried.

And she looked up to Heaven
Once again.

“No body’s ever gonna love me.
They’ll just be nice to me.
They’ll just be polite.
No one will ever love me
Like they do the other girls.
Because I’m ugly.
And I’m fat.”

Sometimes I wish
That there was a way
That I could speak
With her.
And tell her
That I understand.
And that I wonder
Every day.

How can people
Be so cruel
To someone
With a heart and soul,
That just wants to know
That someone cares
For them?

How can people
Be so mean
To someone
Not like them?

Sometimes I wish
That there was a way
That I could speak
With her.
And tell her
That in my eyes,
And to my heart
And to my soul.

She is absolutely,
With out doubt.

Beautiful.

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