I Keep Telling Myself

I keep telling myself
That change is good.
That everything was meant to change
With time.
And the reason
I went through all the stuff
That I went through
Was because I had refused
To change.

I keep telling myself
That it’s OK
That I’m unemployed.
That it’s just another change
That I’m having
To go through.
This process of having to
Find another job.
After all,
It’s very rare these days
For anyone to work
In just one place
For 29 solid years.

I keep telling myself
That because of this
I have the time I need
To figure out
What I want to do
For work.
The kind of work
That’s best for me
At this time in my life.

I keep telling myself
That I’m learning
So very many things.
Like how to take better care
Of my family.
Like how I have to give myself
Breathing space
Every now and then.
Like how important it is
To get the exercise
I need.
And to take the time
To remember what it’s like
To walk outside,
In the sun,
The heat,
The cold,
The rain,
And the snow.

I keep telling myself
That I shouldn’t worry
About the money
That I no longer make.
That my family and I
Will find a way
To get through all of this,
And make the changes
That we need to make
To be OK
If I make much less
That I used to.

I keep telling myself
That too many people
In this life
Are too much afraid
Of taking the chance
To change.
That they keep working
In the job they have
Just to keep the paycheck
That they get every payday.

And that doing so
Does so many awful things
To their hearts and souls.

I keep telling myself
That it’s really OK
To be afraid.
That the fear I live with every day
Is a good thing.
Because it tells me
That I’m living through
The changes that I have to make.
Taking the steps,
And the risks,
That I should have taken
Years ago.

I keep telling myself
That change is good.
And that while the changes
That I’m living through
Right now
Are sometimes hard,
And frightening,
To go through.

That the changes I’m living through,
When all is said and done,
Will make me into
A better person
Than I’ve ever been.

I keep telling myself
That all I have to do
I just be patient.
And that everything
Will be OK.

And I keep telling myself
That I’m not lying to anyone
About all this.
Not even to me.
That what I’m living through
Is a normal thing.
Something that people go through
Almost every day.

And just like them
I’ll be OK.

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