Finding My Wings : “It Is Well With My Soul”

There I was in church
On this Sunday morning.
I was not there because
I was supposed to be.
I was there because
I wanted to be.

There are people there,
Who’s names I do not know.
But I like to think
That with time
That will change.
And I will learn
More of their names.

And they will learn mine

The service started
This morning,
With the Children’s Choir,
Which sang three songs.
And as they sang those songs,
I was so happy
That I nearly cried.

And I said the first
Of may thanks to God
That I have said today.
As I thanked him
For allowing me
To hear the children sing.
And told him that to me
I could not have asked
For anything
More special than that.
What a gift.

As the service went along
One of the women
Of the church
Got up and sang a song
That I’d never heard

“It is well with my soul.”

It was as if
God, Himself
Wanted me to hear
What it was
That He’s been teaching me
In this past year.

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

Those words spoke to me,
And I remembered
All the things
I’ve lived through
This past year.
All the things
That I’ve learned.
That He taught
Just to me.

I know there are people
That would think very much
That I’ve lost
That I had.

That the life that I lived
For 29 years
Was destroyed,
And is now
Dead and gone.

That it’s such a shame
That I’m here
How they wish,
And they pray,
That I can find
Another job.

And through it all I find
That no matter what happens
To me any more.
No matter what trials
Come my way.
That just like the words
In that song she sang
This morning in church.

It is well
With my soul.
This I know.

After she sang that song,
The Pastor spoke.
And the lesson that he gave
Is one that God’s been
Reinforcing in me
Every single day.

“Don’t follow the blind.”

As the Pastor spoke
This morning in church,
I remembered once again
The people that I used to know.
All the time
I’d worked with them,
And how they’re all
So very much
The same.

Day after day,
They never seem to change.
They all think the same.
Behave the same.
And even act the same.

It’s as if they all have stopped
Thinking on their own.
Having blocked out everything
That isn’t what they want.
That isn’t what they know.
I wonder what they’d think
If they were to learn
That I’ve asked God
Not to give up on them.
Just like he hasn’t
Given up on me.

For my heart knows
This very simple truth.
That even in the days
That I was so angry
With so many
Of them.

I would never
Have hurt them.
I would have only
Wished the best
For them.

And when I think of them
And how lost they seem to be
To me.
My heart aches
Within my chest.
And my soul
Cries tears

The lesson that the Pastor gave
This morning at church
Also said to me
That to be alive
Means very much
That every day
We face once more
Things we do not know.

And a year ago
I was so afraid
To live that way.
But I’m not afraid

Fear of the unknown
It seems,
Is just another feeling
That we are meant
To have.
And we shouldn’t
Be afraid at all
Of the things
That we all feel.

I stand before
A future
That I cannot know.
Who out there can say
When I’ll find a new job,
To replace the one
That’s gone?
Or what that job
Will be?

Who out there can say
The names
Of the people that I’ll meet
In the next few months.
I know that I can’t.
And that’s how
Life’s supposed to be.

But despite all the change
That’s happened to me
In the year that’s passed.
And the changes
That I know
Are yet to come.

Despite all the hurt
And sorrow
That I’ve felt.
And all the tears
I’ve cried.
And all the things
I’ve lost.

Like that song said
This morning
While I was in church.

It is well
With my soul.


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