Wishes: Remember Walking On The Sand

There is a wish I have today.
I’ve had this wish
For several months
At this point in time.
But I’ve never really
Found the words
To capture it.

Until tonight.
And tonight
I’m going to capture it.
And bring it to life
For some special
Friends of mine.

In my life
I’ve been through pain,
And hurt,
That not a lot of people

And that pain and hurt
Has all been caused
By the simple fact
That I just don’t
Understand things
The same way
As most people do.

Because of that
I’ve never had
Very many friends.
And many
Of the friends I had.
After all to short a time
They simply left.

It hurts deeply
When you feel
Like you’ve been abandoned
Once again.
When you spend
Night after night
Sitting in your home.
With no one at all
To talk with.
All alone.

I’ve learned that people
Tend to never understand
What I really mean
When I say to them
That I feel almost
Totally alone.
In a room that’s filled
With people.

It makes things even worse
When I try to explain
The way I feel
To someone that I know
Inside that room.
And they just can’t understand
Why I feel that way
At all.

It’s very hard sometimes
To watch people interact.
To watch them talk.
And laugh.
They seem to be
So very happy.
Having so much fun.

But when I replay every word
That I heard them say.
I can’t figure out at all
What they were saying
That made them laugh.
That made them smile.
That made them seem
So happy to me.

I have tried
So many times
In my life
To talk with people
That I wished
To be friends with.

And almost every time
I’ve failed.
And I don’t really know
What I did wrong.
I’ve tried to talk about
The things I’ve heard
Them talk about,
Time and time again.

Some of them
Have said to me
That the way I behave
Just scares them.
And I don’t know why.
Because I know
I’m a nice guy.
And I wouldn’t hurt
Anyone at all.
That would flat be wrong.

Some of them
Have said to me
That I’m cold.
And aloof.
With no heart
At all.
And I don’t know why.
Because I know that I
Do things all the time
That I don’t want to do.
Because they ask me to.
Because I know
They would like me to.
In fact.
I like very much
When I can help someone.
Even in the smallest way.

Some of them
Have said to me
How angry
I always seem to be.
And I don’t know why.
Because I am angry
So rarely.
But I do get frustrated.
I get frustrated
All the time.
When I say something
That gets taken
All wrong.
When I do something
I was asked to do.
And then get hammered
For doing something wrong.
I’m not angry at all
Most of the time.
I’m just flat frustrated.
And wonder all the time
Why I never seem
To do anything at all

All of which
Brings me to my wish.
The wish I’m going to make
Right now.

I wish tonight
For those of you
That feel like I do.
Like you don’t fit in.
Like something’s wrong with you.
Like everything you do
Is wrong.
Like you have no friends.
Like no one at all
Understands you.
Or cares for you.

I wish for you tonight
To know.
That you are not alone.
That there are other people
In this great big world.
That feel just like you do.

And hurt.
And so very much

If there was a way
For me to spare you
All the hurt
And all the pain
That I’ve experienced
In my life.
Just because I’m different.
And I don’t fit in.
I’d use it
Just to keep you safe.
And protect you.
But I know
There’s no such thing.
That I can’t prevent
Your pain.

All that I can do
Is say to you
That you are stronger
Than you know
In your heart,
And in your soul.

For after all
The hurt and pain
I’ve been through
In my life,
I’ve learned
That the hurt
And the pain,
They come
And they go.
They’re transient,
You know.

And they are just another
Part of life.

And because you know
What it’s like
For your heart to ache.
And your soul
To cry such tears
Of pain.

You also know
What it really means
To smile.
To see the sun rise
Once again.
To hear the sounds
Of the birds in the trees.
To watch the ocean’s waves
As they break upon the shore.
To feel the sand
Between your toes.
To feel the breeze
As it flows
Between the fingers
Of your hands.
And oh so many other things.

I know there are times
When the hurt
And the pain
Seem to be
All there is.
And all there will ever be.

It’s when you feel this way
That I wish you to remember
The time that you last walked
Out there on the sand.
Down by the water’s edge.
And listened
To the voice
Of the ocean.
And sometimes just stopped
And watched its waves.

And when you remember this,
Don’t be surprised at all
If you remember other things.
Like the sounds
Of the birds singing.
Or the feel
Of the breeze.
Or the heat
Of the sun
Upon your face.

And remember too
That if you wish
To feel such things again.
To see such things again.
To hear such things again.

That all those things
Are always there.
Every single day.
Even on the days
When you heart aches.
And your soul
Cries tears of pain.

All you have to do
Is notice them.

This is what I’ve learned.
And what I wish
So very much
For you to know.

This is my wish for you


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