It’s My Choice To Make

I could let my anger burn.
I could remember
Everything that happened
In the past year.

I could be bitter.
And remember for all time
The way that I was hurt
By people that I thought
Were my friends.

I could hold a grudge
Against those that taught me
What it is
To hate someone.

I don’t know
That anyone
Would blame me
If I did.

But I’ve learned so very much
In this life that I’ve been given.

I know that
If I hold a grudge
It will color
Everything I do.
And destroy
My ability to trust
Anyone.

If I were to be bitter,
That bitterness
Would be visible
To everyone.
And why would anyone
Want to be a friend
To someone who lived
To remember
All the bad things
That happened to him?

If I were to be angry,
I know everyone
Would avoid me.
Just like I would avoid
Any angry person
That I see.

I could pretend
That I never knew
Any of them,
After how they treated me.
Who would blame me
If I did?

I could spend my time
Wishing each of them
Would have to walk
Through the same kind of hell
That I’ve been through.

There are so many things
That I could do.
But I know,
For my heart tells me so,
That any nasty thing
That I could do,
Or say,
Or feel
Toward any of them.

Would eat away
At me.
At my very
Heart and soul.

It would be just like
An open cut.
Ignored,
And left untreated.
That becomes infected.
And when it does
That infection spreads.

And eventually,
You loose an arm.
Or a leg.
Where it had to be cut off
To save what’s left
Of you.

There are so many things
That I could do.
So many things
That are not good.
And would
In the long term
Hurt me.
Maybe even more
That it would ever
Hurt them.

But if I was injured,
With an open cut.
I’d take care of it.
I’d clean
And bandage it.
And help it heal.
So that it would
Not hurt me.

And that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to clean,
And bandage.
The wounded parts of me.
And I know exactly
How to do that
In this case.

I have to remember
The name of each person
That I could be angry with.
Each name.
And each face.

And then
I have to let go of
Any anger that I feel
With each one of them.

It’s a choice
You know.
To be unforgiving.
To be cold.
And angry.
And let my anger
Consume me.

Or to be forgiving.
To listen to my heart.
And what it says to me.
So that everything
Can just come to
A peaceful,
Healing,
End.

So that
All of them
And me too.
Can heal.
And move on.
Like we’re supposed to.

So you know
The choice that I have made.

I’ve chosen
To forgive.
And to forget.
So that everyone
Can just move on.
And we can all be free
From any hurt
And any pain
That what happened to me
May have caused.

And now you can begin
To understand
What it is
That I wish to be.

I choose to forgive.
And let all the wounds heal.
For I know
That I’m not hurting them.
I’m only hurting me.

And I choose not to do that
Any more.

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